


Post Cards from the Edge (The Return to Sender Remix)

by gryffindorJ



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Frottage, Kissing, M/M, Marauders' Era, Masturbation, wanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-03 16:19:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorJ/pseuds/gryffindorJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus was only looking to save a little time with his homework. But what he wound up with was being the unwilling recipient of some very earnest love letters. His situation would be so much better if he could ignore Sirius and the letters, but he can't seem to manage that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post Cards from the Edge (The Return to Sender Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [via_ostiense](https://archiveofourown.org/users/via_ostiense/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Oi, M](https://archiveofourown.org/works/163190) by [via_ostiense](https://archiveofourown.org/users/via_ostiense/pseuds/via_ostiense). 



> Thank you betas!

Remus checked his watch. He had two minutes, three tops. Peter was down in the kitchens talking to the House Elves about James' cake. Sirius was off in Hogsmeade chatting up Madam Rosmerta, hoping she'd cut him a deal on a barrel or two of Butterbeer and possibly a few bottles of something a little stronger, and James, well James was in detention as was their plan. There would be no planning a surprise party for the nosy git unless he was well out of the way.

Two nights ago James had been sneaking back from a trip to the Prefects' Bathroom without his cloak. Sirius had nicked it while he was bathing, claiming an urgent need. Remus had then kicked Filch's cat right behind the Ming Dynasty armor and taken off, with Sirius under the cloak. James had been caught out and would spend the next week scrubbing floors, or if Filch had his way, in thumb screws. The week would give them just enough time to pull his party together.

Now with everyone busy, and Remus' job of finding the unused classroom and warding it against staff finished, he could find Sirius' Transfiguration essay. Remus had put off his own essay for too long. The full moon had been three days ago and he'd been so tired since that he hadn't yet got around to doing it. It was easy enough copying from one of his mates. They all did it all the time. The only problem was that Sirius was the only one who'd finished and for some reason the bastard had suddenly decided it was wrong to let anyone copy his homework. Oh, and he had actually started doing homework. Even more worrisome, he hadn't had detention in six weeks, a new record, and he hadn't skived off class once.

Remus didn't waste time looking in his trunk, Sirius never hid anything in there. He checked under his mattress first, and then his side table. Sirius was a master at hiding things. Growing up in a house where so much as a Muggle sweet wrapper would get you in trouble, Sirius became quite clever at finding the best hiding spots.

He reached for the bed hangings and shook them hoping parchment would flutter out, but instead the bed rattled oddly. Remus looked at the head of the bed. Because the room was circular none of the beds sat flush against the walls, but this rattle sound was different from the scraping noise the other beds made if you jumped on them too hard.

Remus knelt at the head of the bed and put his hand between the headboard and the wall. He felt around, his knuckles scraping the stone, until his fingers brushed something. Parchment. He reached further, but his arm wasn't quite long enough to wrap his fingers around the essay and pull it up. Damn git and his stupid long limbs would know to put anything so only he could reach it.

Rubbing under his arm, where it the top of the headboard had dug into his flesh, Remus pulled out his wand. _Accio essay_ , he thought but nothing happened. “ _Accio_ essay,” he said, and still nothing. Anti-summoning jinx.

“All right, Black, you stubborn twat,” Remus said under his breath as he scooted off the bed. He lay on the stone floor, flat on his stomach, and scooted under Sirius' bed. Sirius would never think someone would do this, but Sirius also had a giant head that had got stuck between the bed and the floor when he tried to hide there in their fifth year. Remus didn't suffer from a big head and was still thin enough from the full moon that he could squeeze under well enough.

Remus got to the head of the bed, reached up, and yanked out a handful of parchment. He'd have to charm it to make sure all the creases were out, he thought as he crawled back.

Out from under the bed and sitting on his heels, Remus began to sort through the pages.

“ _Oi, M_? What the hell is this?” Remus muttered as he flipped through page after page of what looked like letters to him.

Remus blinked confusedly several times. He flipped through the first letter and then the next and the next, his stomach aching and his horror growing the more he read.

“You arse sniffers better be in there!” The dormitory banged open and James came striding in. Remus snatched all the letters and held them against his chest as James' eyes fell on him.

“Where is everyone?” James demanded.

“Peter's in the library and I thought Sirius was with you,” Remus replied. It amazed him how quickly the lie burst from his lips.

“Sirius isn't with me. I was in detention.”

“Don't know then,” Remus said with a shrug. He got to his feet and started to move to his bed to hide the letters. James blocked his way and stared at him, fists firmly on his hips.

“What've you got there, Moony?” James raised his brows in the way that made his glasses slip an inch down his nose, which made him look like his father peering at you over the tops of his glasses.

“Homework.” Another easy lie.

James shrugged and moved out of the way, but as Remus moved to pass, James grabbed one of the letters out of Remus' grasp at lightening fast speed.

“Give that back,” Remus yelled trying to grab for it, but James was too fast and jumped away.

“'I don't know why, but the house-elves always make your shirts smell better than the rest of ours.' Is this for real? Your smell?” James said. He laughed and immediately went back to reading the letter.

“Give it back,” Remus said, taking another swipe at James.

“I'm not done yet,” James said, moving out of Remus' range again. “And this-” Remus never heard what bit James was going to quote next because he took out his wand and hit James with a Tripping jinx. “Ow, fuck!”

Remus Summoned the parchment out of James' hand before he could stop him and dashed to his bed. He stuffed the letters in his bag and sealed it shut. 

“I can't believe that great toss pot finally gave those to you,” James said, standing up and wiping his palms on his knees.

“You knew about these?” Remus said, but of course James knew. James knew everything about Sirius. James was Sirius' everything. Remus and Peter were extras.

“He hid the map from me awhile back and he hides stuff behind his headboard, I found them there.”

Remus' felt like the wind had been knocked of him. He knew there was something between James and Sirius he couldn't begin to understand, or have, but James knew Sirius' hiding spot and Sirius hadn't bothered to make a new one. Remus was suddenly raging with envy. He wanted to be the one who could be trusted with Sirius' hiding spot.

“Did you read the dirty one yet?” James said, waggling his brows.

Remus felt his face heat. “There's a dirty one?”

“It's an ode to your plonker. Or maybe he's just calling you a plonker in it. Can't remember, exactly. He knocked two of my teeth out when I found them. Hit my head on the floor and my ears rang for two days. I don't remember the contents too well.” James scratched his head and continued. “So he gave them to you? What are you going to do?”

“Why would I do something?” Remus said, appalled.

“Because he's finally proved he has balls to go along with that huge nob of his and he gave you the letters. I thought he might have settled on one, but to give them all to you, even the bad ones? Do you fancy him, too? I mean, are you into that sort of thing?” James said, pretending poorly like this was a question he asked every day.

“I – I -” Remus was speechless. Yeah, he liked Sirius well enough, but he never considered it an option, so the entire thing was making his head spin.

“You know what you could do -” James began as the dormitory door banged open again.

Did no one around here know how to open a door properly?

“Prongs, you're back,” Sirius said, walking in. “Filch give you a good flogging?” Sirius walked between James and Remus, winked at Remus as he passed, and went for his trunk.

“Scrubbed toilets,” James said. “Where've you been?”

“Wandering around,” Sirius said. He opened up his trunk and stuffed something inside.

With Sirius' back to them, James looked at Remus and made his mouth a big O and bobbed his head back and forth, looking from Remus to Sirius and back again.

Remus bit the inside of his cheek, hoping the pain would keep him from blushing. No luck. He felt his face heat once again.

“What are you two doing?” Sirius said, standing and turning around. James set his features as innocently as possible and Remus could do nothing but blink at him. “Well? What's going on? Did I interrupt your circle jerk?” Sirius said, narrowing his eyes at both of them.

“I have to go,” Remus said. He turned and rushed to his bed. He grabbed his bag and said, “Have my essay to start.” He bolted from the room, slamming the door behind him.

~*~*~*~

Sometimes Remus would dream about Sirius. Not weird dreams when you're driving together in your gran's 1952 camper, or nightmares, it was the best kind of dreams. The kind that would wake him up with his heart racing and his cock aching so much that one stroke is all it took. A time or seven he woke up not with an aching cock but with sticky, warm sheets.

Remus would tell himself it's only natural to dream about Sirius that way. Sirius is a beautifully made person, with an amazing physique that could be held up as physical proof that pure-bloods really were all they claimed to be. He also had the tendency, like other pure-bloods, to take things too far. 

Remus had been worried last night after reading all those letters that he'd have nothing but those sorts of dreams about Sirius. Most of the letters were sweet and not remotely dirty, not even the one James claimed was dirty was _that_ dirty. Sirius had never entered his mind as a possibility. He was always fantasy. Then Remus read the letters and suddenly unattainable dreams hung low on a branch in front of him, ripe for his picking. 

After he had read the letters through a few times he went to find Marlene Dorset, not because he fancied her like Sirius thought, but because they had an agreement. Remus didn't have to buy her a butterbeer, and she didn't have to flirt shamelessly. It worked for both of them. Remus needed to clear his mind so he could get his essay done and manage a few hours of solid sleep when he was done. 

Sated and exhausted from working on his essay till three in the morning, Remus fell into bed sure that he would sleep soundly. He did not. It was dream after dream of Sirius. It started with Sirius undressing for him, then Sirius stroking his cock, followed by Sirius on all fours and Remus rubbing his cock on his arse, and suddenly Sirius was on his back, legs thrown over Remus' shoulders and Remus ached to push his cock into his arse but he couldn't quite get the angle. Sirius started yelling at him to do it and then Remus woke up hard as stone and Sirius was still yelling. 

“Prongs! Hurry up! I have to piss!” Sirius said, banging on the door to the bathroom.

Remus rolled his head to the side to peek between the gap of his bed hangings to look at Sirius. There he was, pyjama bottoms hanging of his hips and that too tight t-shirt. Sirius had had the same t-shirt since their third year, the major change being Sirius was a lot bigger now at seventeen than he had been at fourteen. Remus could see the shape of his strong chest through the shirt and it was so short that when he raised his hand to bang on the door again, a good two inches of skin were exposed between his bottoms and his shirt. Remus stared at that patch of skin, itched to touch it, and instead wrapped his hand around his cock.

He thought about waiting for Sirius to come back out of the bathroom. He would walk around with a towel around his waist and Remus would be able to make out the shape of his arse and see his long, long legs perfectly. He would then drop his towel as he dug around for a pair of clean pants. His entire body on display for all to see.

This was how it was. Sirius had no idea how people looked at him. He was almost completely unaware of the effect his body had on people. He knew he could make people fall about with a smile or a flip of his hair, but he was oblivious about how his powers of attraction extended below his neck.

Remus was not. He was fully aware of Sirius' body, had been for over two years. It was simultaneously torture and a dream come true to have Sirius walk around bare-arsed naked at least once a day.

Remus felt like an utter deviant wanking to thoughts of Sirius so often, and even worse, every time he had sex with someone else, it was Sirius who filled his mind. He was certain his friends had nothing like his experience. James and Sirius talked a lot, made jokes, but in reality they knew nothing. James wasn't a virgin, he had fallen bassackwards into more than one pair of knickers, but Remus would not be surprised if Sirius had done no more than feel a girl up. Sirius' fancy passed too quickly to ever get to the shagging part. Remus had yet to meet the girl that could keep his attention for more than a day.

Sirius' innocence didn't bother Remus. It was Remus' complete lack of innocence that did.

Sure, Sirius had confessed his love but had he really thought about it? Had he even considered how two men had sex? Or even what it felt like to kiss another bloke? Stubbled chins, nothing soft between them, grinding pricks against each other. Remus would bet that Sirius was far too busy romanticizing the situation to focus on the reality that if Remus liked him back, he would probably want Sirius to suck on his cock. 

At best the only cock Sirius had thought about being sucked was his own. Selfish arse. 

“Fucking hurry the fuck up!” Sirius yelled, banging against the door with the heel of his hand.

Remus saw his arm muscles flex and jump as he banged the door, he could imagine how they looked as they stroked his cock. Remus stroked his cock thinking about that. Nothing was going to happen between him and Sirius. He would pretend like he'd never seen the letters. Wanking over him wouldn't hurt anything.

He could forget the notes had ever happened.

~*~*~*~

Ignoring Sirius was nice in theory, but impossible in practice. Remus had succeeded in ignoring him through breakfast and through the first period of classes. That had been easy because Remus had breakfasted late because he didn't have a class till Charms, while Sirius had Care of Magical Creatures first thing in the morning. In Charms, James had finagled his way into partnering Lily, Peter wasn't allowed to partner in Charms – he talked too much and was easily distracted – and that left Remus and Sirius together.

Remus easily changed the rocks into ice, and filled the glasses with whisky. He was supposed to be filling the glasses with water or orange juice if you could manage, but whisky was a much more useful refilling charm. “You're so charming, Moony,” Sirius said with a half smile. Remus looked at Sirius and rolled his eyes. “Don't worry you don't have to say it, back. I know I am.”

“You're a twat,” Remus said.

“Coming from you that's as good as, 'I love you',” Sirius said and he batted his eyelashes. Remus tried not to be taken in by his light eyes and affected flirtation. He reminded himself that this was how Sirius talked to everyone.

“I reckon telling you to fuck off will only encourage you?”

Sirius put his hand on Remus' thigh and squeezed. “Yes, it will.”

Remus tried not to smile back, his lips twitched. It was hard to resist Sirius when he was being such an idiot.

The bell rang and James hurried after Lily. Sirius touched Remus' hand to slow him. He took his time packing up his things and whistled to get Peter's attention. “Did you deliver the invitations?” Sirius asked them in a hushed voice.

“What invitations?” Remus asked.

“To Prongs' party, you idiot,” Sirius snapped.

“I didn't know this was such a formal event,” Remus said through gritted teeth.

“That's right, you wouldn't because you disappeared last night instead of attending the meeting once James was asleep. Where were you anyway?”

“Finishing my Transfiguration essay. I wasn't aware there was a scheduled meeting.”

“Padfoot hitting you with a Full Body-Bind so you can't scream as he drags you from bed isn't something you can schedule,” Peter said, earning him a glare from Sirius.

“The meeting, Remus,” Sirius said in a superior tone, “was so I could give you all your share of invitations-”

“Why invitations?” Remus interrupted even though he knew he was in dangerous waters already.

“The invitations,” Sirius drawled, “are so when they're opened, people won't people able to tell Prongs about the party. A surprise is quite spoiled if we have half the school running their mouths over it.”

“Did you invite Regulus?” Peter asked.

“Why the hell would I invite him?” Sirius bristled.

“I don't know,” Peter said in a small voice. “Saw you talking to him this morning and only figured-”

“The world does not need you figuring anything,” Sirius said. “When or why I talk to my brother is none of your bleeding business.”

Peter and Remus exchanged looks and kept their mouths shut. Sirius was the only one of them who had a sibling and none of them could begin to understand their fucked up family dynamic. Sirius was fiercely protective of Regulus but also called him some of the nastiest insults Remus had ever heard him say. Whenever James mentioned that, James being the only one who was allowed to, Sirius would brush it off saying it was his brother. He couldn't explain it unless you had one yourself.

There was a lot Remus didn't understand about Sirius and Regulus. What he did understand was that never in a million years would Sirius invite Regulus to a party.

Getting into Sirius' inner circle was some sort of rite that Remus still wasn't sure he had passed. James was the only one who had passed, the how, when, and why, to that was a complete mystery to Remus. It was hard to feel like someone cared for you when they could cut you down with their tone or a sneer. Sirius was capable of treating everyone how he had just treated Peter, even James. The major difference was James didn't take his shit, not for one minute. Maybe that's why Sirius cared for him.

Remus didn't think he let Sirius walk all over him, exactly. He didn't see the point to rising to Sirius' moods. It was better to wait out the storm and only, _only_ , say something if he'd gone too far.

“Moony,” Sirius said ploughing on, his tone much lighter. “I left your invitations on your bedside table. You have to deliver Evans' because she won't trust it coming from anyone else.”

“Right. As long as hers doesn't have extra charms so she ends up Confunded and showing up in nothing but her knickers,” Remus said.

Sirius beamed at him. “That why I love you, Moony. That would have been a brilliant idea. I wouldn't have thought of it myself.”

Remus couldn't return the smile. The sting left from Sirius' words only a moment ago hadn't gone away. Remus wanted to tell him he was a liar and the only person he loved was James and there was no way twelve or twelve hundred love notes would ever make him think differently.

~*~*~*~

“Why aren't you talking to Padfoot?”

Remus looked over at Peter and said, “Huh?” even though he heard him quite clearly.

“He's hard to ignore, I'll give you that, so you aren't completely not talking to him. But you're doing about as good a job as one can do,” Peter said as he flicked his wand at a stack of chairs, sending them around the room.

“I'm not not talking to Sirius,” Remus said. He sounded more defensive than he had in his head.

“You've gone to bed early every night and do every manoeuvre possible not to sit by him during classes, _and_ I haven't heard you give more than a one word answer in days.”

Remus didn't know Peter or anyone else had noticed.

“I'm sure whatever he's done, he's sorry.”

“He hasn't done anything,” Remus replied as he swirled his wand to attract all the cobwebs around the room. The classroom they had found to have James' party in was perfect. It was down a corridor no one ever went, including staff. It was at least three floors away from any place they might be overheard, and it was rather large, bigger than the Charms room. The only problem was, it was filled with rubbish and it looked like it hadn't been dusted in decades.

Peter and Remus had started with evacuating all the spiders and rodents and then moved on to scouring floors and windows. How they got wrangled into cleaning detail Remus didn't know, but it did serve as further evidence that he was nothing more than manual labour to Sirius.

“We all know he's a prick but he's our friend, yeah?”

This made Remus bristle; sending Peter to talk to Remus because he was the only one Remus would give a chance to say something. Remus Banished the webs into the rubbish bin and turned to Peter and said, “Is he really our friend? I don't see him here breaking his arse to make sure this room is clean.”

“He's in detention. Got into an argument with Collins when he was trying to save you a spot when you were late for Herbology. He's scooping up dragon shit as we speak,” Peter replied.

“Oh,” Remus said, suddenly very guilty. He turned away. He didn't know Sirius tried to save him a spot nor that he got detention for defending it.

They were quiet for awhile as they supervised mopping and furniture repair. Peter was trying to transfigure a wobbly old desk into a bar cart when he said, “I do believe he's our friend. Your friend especially. After all these full moons and the Animagus work and all the healing spells he's learned, I thought you wouldn't ever doubt him again.”

“That wasn't only him. It was all of you,” Remus said.

“True,” Peter shrugged. He bit his lip before continuing. “You know how he is though, manic when he cares about something and he's never stopped caring about doing that. Transforming occupied him for a couple years. For Sirius' attention span, that might as well mean centuries. And you're usually asleep but you should see the way he worries over you when you transform. He's the mother hen and pecks Prongs and I to death if we don't do everything right. If I didn't know better I would say he's mad for you.”

Remus' throat felt tight and he couldn't reply to that, so he only nodded.

“Merlin's cock and balls, my back aches,” Sirius announced walking into the room.

His face was smeared with what Remus hoped was dirt but doubted it once the smell reached him.

“You couldn't bother to bathe first?” Remus said, pinching his nose.

“No, I couldn't,” Sirius said. “Prongs is back in the common room and I couldn't go in and then leave without him getting suspicious.”

“Prefects' bathroom?” Peter said with a wince.

“I haven't been able to get in since...well, the room has banned me. Probably fair, considering...” Sirius didn't bother finishing the statement even though both Remus and Peter looked at him curiously.

“Here,” Remus said, striding forward. He pulled out a handkerchief and wet it down with some water from his wand. He handed it to Sirius, knowing that using a cleaning charm on his face made him sneeze. “For your hands and face. Then maybe you can help without making Wormtail and me sick.”

“Thanks, Moony,” Sirius said as he wiped his face, back of his neck and hands. He took out his wand, pointed it at the handkerchief, and then handed it back to Remus as clean as if it had just come out of the wash.

“You missed a spot,” Remus said, standing up on his toes and wiping a smudge just under his fringe. He noticed Sirius' shirt had two more buttons undone than usual, and his skin was still flush from digging in manure for the past two hours.

Remus stepped away and Sirius looked at him not smiling, not even blinking, just looking.

“I think there's some on your shoes, it still smells,” Peter said.

“Right,” Sirius said. He toed off his shoes and threw them out the door. “Last bit of planning.” He pulled a piece of well used parchment out of his back pocket, muttered an incantation, and chewed his bottom lip as he went down the list.

“We have food and cake coming up from the kitchen, right?” Sirius said, looking at Peter.

“Checked before I came here. They can deliver straight to the room. Wards don't work on them,” Peter replied.

“All invitations delivered?” Sirius said next.

“Yes,” Remus replied.

“And no teacher interruptions, Moony?”

“I set up the wards but there's no way to test them without trying to get a professor here. There is a warning system that will go off, just in case. Should give us all about a ten minute head start.”

“Good. I'm sure they're fine. I'm picking up the drinks tomorrow. Rosmerta says I can shrink them and then enlarge them once I'm back in the castle without any effects.”

“You talked to Rosmerta about enlarging items?” Peter said with a snort.

“Yeah, wouldn't you know she's a pro at it,” Sirius said with a chuckle.

“All right let's finish this up before Prongs comes looking for us,” Sirius said, standing.

They busied themselves transfiguring several desks into one large table for the food. Another one into a round table for the cake. With a complicated wave from his wand, Sirius hung gold streamers from the ceiling.

Remus arched his head back, looking up at them. They gave the effect of standing under a very low, starry sky. “Those are nice,” Remus said.

“Thank you. Glad to see you're talking to me enough to compliment my brilliance,” Sirius said, still charming streamers.

“I was always talking to you,” Remus said.

“No, you weren't. I didn't know what happened, you were being such a bitch I thought maybe you started cycling along with the rest of the girls in Gryffindor.”

“If I had a problem with you, then I'm a bitch?” Remus replied. He could feel his anger rising.

“Yes. Anyone who has a problem with me is a bitch,” Sirius replied lightly but his eyes flashed dangerously.

“Have you ever considered it's you who has the problem and not everyone else?” Remus said, his grip on his wand tightening.

“No.”

Remus laughed humorlessly. The moment he thought he could be fine with Sirius, Sirius had to go and remind him that he was indeed a bastard. In Sirius' world there was Sirius and then every one else. “I forgot you're perfect. My mistake.”

“Hey. How are we getting Prongs here? I mean for the party?” Peter said, walking over to them. Remus didn't know if he saw the conversation was getting heated or was oblivious to the whole thing.

“We'll have Evans tell him she wants to show him something,” Sirius said.

“Brilliant idea,” Remus said sarcastically. “Exactly what we want. James showing up with a cock so stiff he can hardly walk.”

“He won't be the only one. Dorset is coming to the party,” Sirius said with a leer.

“Why'd you go and invite her for?” Remus asked, annoyed.

“My mistake. I thought you'd be needing a blow job,” Sirius said.

“I don't and you shouldn't have.” Remus rubbed his forehead, he felt a headache coming on.

“Cheer up, Moony.” Sirius slapped Remus on the back. “Nothing like a good blow job to clear the head.”

“Yeah, and what would you know about it?” Remus snapped. “You've no idea what you're talking about.”

Sirius looked at Remus shocked, and the expression was immediately replaced with narrowed eyes and a set jaw. “Why don't you bob on my nob for a bit so I can let you know for sure.”

“Turn into a dog and lick you're own fucking prick. I'm leaving.” Remus quickly left the room without looking back.

~*~*~*~

“I'm impressed. This is a nice party.”

Remus leaned his head back and said to Lily, “You like the belly dancers?”

“I didn't know there was a Veela belly dancing troop. They must have cost a fortune.”

Remus watched as James sat in a chair and the dancers circled around him, flirtatiously swirling their scarves across his face. He wore a grin that would make a jack-o-lantern proud. One dancer kept glancing Sirius' way and flicking her scarf at him and batting her eyes. He wore a much more dignified smirk and kept his arms folded.

“I've no idea how much they cost,” Remus replied. “They must be Sirius' present to James.”

“What a good friend,” Lily said a little tightly. She poured herself a mug of butterbeer and stood next to Remus. “How come you're not over there ogling like the rest of them?”

“Blonds never really did it for me,” Remus said and Lily raised her brows at him inquisitively. “And they're far too pretty. I like-” Remus began but couldn't think how to finish the sentence. What he liked was Sirius. Dark, beautiful, passionate Sirius. The way he pressed his lips full lips together and blinked his eyes at the dancers was driving Remus mad. He wanted that look.

“You like ugly, dark haired girls. That's what you wanted to say?” Lily said.

“Yes,” Remus said. He and Lily both chortled.

“Your birthday was only a few weeks ago. Did Sirius get you some Harpies for entertainment?”

“No,” Remus said with a smile. Sirius, along with James and Peter, had all got him a watch. They knew Remus' mum wouldn't know about the tradition and Remus' dad couldn't have cared less about it, but it was important to them. The watch wasn't anything fancy. It meant the world to Remus.

“You didn't get a party either, or was I not invited?” Lily said. Remus looked at her and shook his head.

“I'm not the party sort. Don't like all the attention,” Remus said. He felt his face heat as he thought about what they did instead.

“You're blushing,” Lily said. “Tell me what happened.”

“I can't. You are a lady.” Remus tried not to grin too widely.

Lily pinched him and demanded, “Tell me.”

“Ouch.” Remus pushed her hand away and said, “We caught the Knight Bus in Hogsmeade and after that it's all very foggy. I do know that there are some stains and smells that even the most powerful cleaning spell can't get out.”

“Eww. That's repulsive.” Lily laughed.

“You wanted to know.” Remus did remember more. They went to his favourite curry place in London; they got kicked out and chased by the owner before they were even half finished with their food. James read the Underground map wrong and they ended up on the wrong line. Peter found a decent enough pub and they stood out in the pissing rain for a bit drinking pints. When they got a table inside, Sirius got the entire pub to sing to Remus. Things were really foggy about the time James suggested they go to a peep show, or as he called it a “wank-a-torium”. He did remember bits of the Knight Bus ride back. Sirius had fallen asleep on his shoulder right after giving him a warm kiss on the cheek.

“It was a good night,” Remus added as his chest tightened with how much his friends meant to him and apparently how much he meant to them. He brushed a finger across his right wrist, skimming the watch.

Everyone started to clap as the dancers finished. They were immediately set upon by almost every boy in the room, all of whom were spouting their various skills and prowess. Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I better go save Potter from himself,” she said and pushed her way through the crowd.

Remus saw Sirius pushing his way out of the crowd towards him. Remus turned, reaching for a bottle of anything and refilling his glass. Sirius stepped beside him, letting their shoulders brush.

“Enjoying the Veela?” Remus said, feeling nervous.

“They're all right. A bit too pretty.”

“Oh? I would have thought that's your type.” Remus took a sip of his drink. It was mulled wine. Remus hated mulled wine.

“I know you found the notes, Moony. You know what my type is.” 

Remus looked at Sirius in shock. Sirius stared back, his face as set as stone. “Who told you?”

“I went looking for something else and saw they were gone. Prongs told me you had them. I punched him thinking he took them. Should apologize for that, maybe.”

“I -” Remus tried to reply but he couldn't looking at Sirius' face so cold. He looked down at his shoes and tried again. “I didn't know...I mean I hadn't any idea. I was looking for an essay.”

“Well?” Sirius said, putting his hands on his hips.

“Well what?” Remus snapped looking at Sirius. If Sirius expected an apology he had another thing coming.

“What did you think?” Sirius demanded.

“Er...you wrote quite a few notes,” Remus replied, not sure what to say.

“That's it?”

“No.” Remus tried to say more but he couldn't, tried to do something but he couldn't. Sirius leaned in, bringing the tip of his nose almost to Remus'. Remus could smell the firewhisky on his breath, could see the blue flecks in his eyes.

“You're angry with me. Why don't you do something about it? Go ahead and hit me, I won't stop you. Whatever it is, just stop ignoring me.” His hair fell forward brushed against Remus' cheek. It was black as coal, hopelessly thick, and feather soft. Perfect. Remus wanted to yank Sirius by it and drag him from the room. Instead he settled for his hand.

As he pushed through the crowd, it occurred to Remus how many times Sirius had taken his hand. Grabbing for it to lead the way down darkened passages; pulling him up the stairs, telling him to hurry or they'd be late; crouching together in a hiding space, they would naturally reach for each other, gripping one another tightly through the tension of possibly getting caught during drunken nights, and mornings. Always mornings after the full moon, he would transform and Sirius would be there, holding his hand, and looking at him with so much earnestness you could choke on it. Remus could easily think of all the times Sirius' fingers had slipped from his as he, James, and Peter left before Madam Pomfrey arrived. Remus would lie there, flexing his empty hand, wishing Sirius' was in it again. And now Sirius' hand was in his and he could do exactly as he wanted.

He dragged Sirius down the corridor, not paying attention to where he went, turning at random, dashing through hidden passages. Finally far enough away from everyone else, and in a dark alcove, behind a vase that was painted with blue windmills.

They were both panting, chests heaving.

“Did you really mean it?” Remus demanded as he shoved Sirius against the wall.

Sirius blinked at him, shocked, for a minute but then answered, “Every word.”

“Me? When you can have anyone else, it's me?” Remus leaned in, pressing his forearm against Sirius' chest holding him there. He looked up at Sirius' face waiting to see if he would lie, brush it all off as a joke, and say something unforgivably hurtful.

“ _You._ ” Sirius leaned down and kissed Remus full on the mouth.

Remus pushed Sirius away and said in a growl, “You've no idea what that means.” He grabbed Sirius by the front of his shirt and kissed him back.

“I reckon I do,” Sirius said, pulling back.

“You're only saying that because you want this.” Remus pressed his palm against Sirius' hard cock.

Sirius' groaned from deep inside his throat and kissed Remus again. It was hot and manic. Remus kept pulling and sucking on Sirius' bottom lip. He had always admired the delicate pink fullness of it, and nibbled and licked across in every way he had dreamed about doing.

Sirius' hands skated all over Remus' body as if he couldn't decide one place to touch. He finally settled on Remus' arse and pushed his cock against Remus' hip.

Remus pulled away, looked at Sirius and said, “You expect me to do this.” He dropped to his knees and with a flick of his wand had Sirius' belt and trousers undone. He pushed the trousers and pants down only far enough that his cock was free. “You only want me so I can suck your cock.”

“Moony, I-” Sirius started, but he stopped as Remus ran his tongue from the base of Sirius' balls all the way up the back of his long, thick, cock. The scent of Sirius' arousal was like a fog around Remus' head. Thick and heady.

Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius' cock, stroking it back and forth. He pulled back Sirius' foreskin, exposing the crown. Remus wrapped his mouth around the head, swirling his tongue, tasting the saltiness of Sirius' precome. He sucked more, enjoying the feel of it on his tongue, how it felt dragging across the inside of his lips.

He pulled back and looked at Sirius. He was shaking in an attempt to hold completely still. His hands were pressed so hard to the stone wall behind him that his fingers bowed, and his knuckles were white. He stared down at Remus with an expression of joy, wonder, and need; all rolled together.

Remus smiled, not in reassurance but in a predatory way, he licked his lips and brought Sirius' cock into his mouth again. He sucked slowly back and forth. Hollowing his cheeks, and pressing his tongue firmly to the back of Sirius' cock; doing his best to drive Sirius mad.

“Oh fuck, yes, fuck Moony. Fuck. Want you. Want this,” Sirius babbled. Remus tried not to snort, of course Sirius wanted him, his prick was in his mouth.

Remus pulled back letting Sirius' cock make a faint _pop_ as he pulled his from his mouth. He stood and pressed his body to Sirius. “You liked that. Is that what you wanted?”

“Yes, Moony, fuck,” Sirius said, grabbing Remus and trying to kiss him and thrust his cock against him at the same time.

“You also want to suck my prick. I know you do,” Remus said, not letting Sirius kiss him.

“Merlin, fuck -” Sirius said. He dropped to his knees. He fumbled with Remus' belt and trousers. Remus didn't move to help. It was a rare sight, seeing Sirius so clumsy-fingered and needy.

He pulled down Remus' trousers and pants, and had nothing but Remus' cock and balls in his face. Sirius was never one to be deterred though. He grabbed Remus' cock - the feel of Sirius' hand finally on him sent shivers up and down Remus' spine – and wrapped his lips around it. He sucked Remus in as far as he could and then did it again. Remus should have guessed what Sirius lacked in experience he would make up for in eagerness. When Sirius did something, he did it right.

He sucked Remus how Remus had sucked him, Remus didn't hold still like Sirius though. He rolled his hips to meet each push of Sirius' mouth. Sirius moaned and reached up and touched Remus' balls.

“Fuck.” Remus groaned. That felt good. Sirius squeezed them a touch harder and Remus' legs felt weak.

Remus wanted to thrust hard and fast, ride Sirius' face until he came but he couldn't do that. It didn't feel right to do that now.

He pulled out and dropped to his knees, and then pulled Sirius to the floor with him. He reached for Sirius' face, aching to kiss him as he kicked his trousers and pants off.

Remus once again pulled Sirius' bottom lip into his mouth, running his tongue across the stubble just below it. The rough feel making a pleasing contrast against his soft lips. Sirius buried his hands in Remus' hair, pressing their mouths together as much as he could.

Remus pulled one leg free from his pants, wrapped one arm around Sirius and rolled, pulling Sirius on top of him. Remus wanted to feel Sirius' body on his. The press of his chest on his, making it almost too hard to breathe, exactly what Remus wanted, the sure weight that Sirius was there with him.

“Oh, fuck,” Remus gasped out. Sirius was heavier than Remus had anticipated. “You're a heavy bugger.” Remus squirmed trying to catch his breath.

Sirius responded by thrusting his hips against Remus'. The friction of Sirius' leg against his was enough to make Remus stop caring about how well he was breathing for the moment. Remus spread his legs wide and hooked one around Sirius' waist and thrust up against him.

His face was nestled in the crook of Sirius' neck, his mouth pressed to Sirius' collar bone. Not being able to resist the taste of Sirius' skin, Remus licked and sucked along it as he rolled and rocked his hips with Sirius. Sirius was panting and thrusting erratically. Either he didn't know what he was doing or he wasn't getting the friction he needed.

Remus gripped Sirius' back with one hand and pushed the other between them. He pushed his cock against Sirius' and wrapped his hand around them. He thrust into his fist just as Sirius did.

Remus' dug his heel into Sirius' thigh wanting to be fucked harder. Sirius snapped his hips and Remus' groaned into his shoulder. Sirius did it again and again, Remus rolled his hips to meet each thrust.

Faster and faster they fucked. The sweat from Remus' hand slicking his path and he stroked harder.

Remus felt his balls go tight, and _fuck_ , he wanted to come. Sirius stilled and cried out just as Remus felt his cock pulsing in his hand and against his cock. God, it was so fucking brilliant. Remus' eyes squeezed shut and he thrust one last time. “God, fuck, yes,” he panted and his cock pulsed and he felt his come sliding down his fingers along with Sirius'.

They stay tangled like that for seconds, minutes, hours...Remus didn't know. It all felt too good and he didn't want to move because he would start thinking again. He would live in a land of orgasmic bliss for awhile.

Sirius eventually rolled off him, but stayed pressed to his side. He reached down, pulling at his trouser which were still around his knees and came back up with a cigarette. He lit it with the tip of his wand and as he took the first puff said, “You've done this before. With a bloke, I mean.”

Remus moved his head to look more clearly at Sirius. He could tell even in the dim moonlight that Sirius' face was sweaty and his hair stuck to his forehead. He didn't look at Remus though, only stared up at the ceiling and took another pull from his cigarette.

“I have,” Remus finally said. “Does that bother you?”

The corners of Sirius' lips twitched and he said, “I don't think I have a right to be bothered by it or not. You found those notes. I didn't give them to you.”

“You're allowed to be jealous. I'm jealous of every single person you talk to who isn't me,” Remus admitted.

Sirius pulled his cigarette from his mouth, blew out the smoke, and then turned his head to look at Remus. “That why you've been a twat all week? Think I wrote all that shit because it's really Prongs' arse I'm mad for?”

“Are you?” Remus asked because he might have wondered that more than once.

“Prongs? Christ, Moony, don't make me hit you. We just fucked and you think it's James I want.”  
Sirius looked away and shook his head.

“It's...it's hard for me to understand you sometimes,” Remus said slowly.

Sirius laughed. “We're fucked then. You've known me for six years and you read every line of every note I wrote you and after all that you still don't understand me then there's no hope here.”

“No, I-” Remus grabbed Sirius' arm afraid he would go even though he wasn't moving. “I don't understand why me.”

“You know why, you read all the girly, squishy, shit I wrote. I meant it, and if I have to say it again I will, but it's a little embarrassing. I never imagined telling someone you loved them would be such a pain in the arse.”

“You're the one who's a pain in the arse,” Remus said.

“That's right, and you know that about me. So it isn't exactly fair you going around acting like one. You're supposed to be better at this than me.” Sirius stubbed his cigarette out on the floor and lifted himself up on one elbow, bringing his face level with Remus'.

“You think I'm better than you?”

“Don't act so taken aback. You know you are. I said it in one of those letters, I think. I was drunk when I wrote a couple of 'em.”

“Yeah, I could tell, your handwriting gets loopier.”

“I want you, Remus. Been gagging for this for so long I don't think I've wanked to anyone but you for over a year. And you know it's not just that, and if you're not interested then I can deal with that, but please don't treat me like shit over it anymore.” Sirius looked down, his brows knotted together.

“I'm sorry,” Remus said. “I am. And the notes were nice. I mean I've admired small little details about you too, but mostly I've just been staring at your arse for three years.”

“It is a fine arse,” Sirius said with a smirk.

“You've no idea,” Remus said.

“I don't?” Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus.

“I'm an expert on fine arses, and you've only been staring at mine.”

“Moony, I told you I wanked to you, not that I stopped using my eyes. I've seen other nice arses around,” Sirius said, trying to sound superior.

“Madam Rosmerta's doesn't count.”

“Yes, she does. Everyone else around here wears robes. How can I look at an arse properly with it always being covered up?” Sirius said. 

“You've looked at mine,” Remus countered.

“We share a room I can see your arse any time I like.”

“What about Prongs' and Wormtail's?” Remus said, raising his brows.

“Wormtail's got a better arse than Prongs. Mine is the best though, yours being second.” Sirius reached around grabbing Remus' arse and pulling him closer.

“I'm going to tell James you said that.” Remus smiled.

“Fuck James,” Sirius said and moved to kiss Remus again.

“How about I fuck you instead,” Remus said as he kissed Sirius lightly on the mouth.

Sirius stilled and said, “Again. Like that or different? Did you mean my arse?”

“I meant everything,” Remus whispered back.

“You know how to do that?” Sirius said with his eyes so wide Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing and nodded in reply. “Merlin, you're such a slut, Moony.”

Out of the corner of his eye Remus caught a movement. He turned his head and saw the flash of eyes. “Filch's cat,” Remus whispered.

“Fuck,” Sirius said quietly. He jumped up and reached down to pull Remus up with him. Remus stood and tried to stuff his other leg back in his trousers but Sirius started hissing at him, “Hurry up.”

Remus gave up and pulled his trousers up one side and held the empty trouser leg along with his shoe in his hand. Sirius looked around outside the alcove to see it was clear and said, “Let's go.”

He took off down the corridor and Remus tried to follow right behind him but Sirius was much faster than him, and not because Remus was running bare arsed. This wasn't his first experience running around the school in some semblance of undress. These things tended to happen to you when you were friends with Sirius and James.

Up ahead, he saw Sirius disappear into a secret passage. Such a bastard. Just as Remus thought Sirius actually cared, he was only after saving his own arse. Remus reached the entrance threw back the tapestry and ran in head down and ran smack into Sirius.

“Ow!” Remus said as he bounced backwards.

“Hurry, Moony,” Sirius said, grabbing Remus' free hand and pulling him along.

He held Remus' hand, not in his, but with their fingers interlocking. It was tighter, more together. Remus' chest felt warm and tight, but that could have been because they were running flat out.

“Can't you move faster?” Sirius said, not unkindly.

“I'm half...dressed,” Remus replied.

“Take your trousers off,” Sirius said as he pulled Remus around a turn.

Remus tried to kick off his trousers and keep moving but it proved too hard.

Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at Remus. “ _Diffindo_.” Remus' trousers split and fell right off.

“That was my best pair,” Remus said testily.

“I'll fix them later,” Sirius snarled and grabbed the trousers off the floor. “Put your pants on. In case we get caught.”

Remus tried to put his shorts back on but they heard someone coming. They took off again, moving, if still awkwardly, running with one shoe and ripped trousers flying after them.

“I'm not...letting...you fix...my...trousers,” Remus panted as Sirius lead them up three flights of stairs. “I'll end up...with one leg...shorter than...the other.”

“House-elf,” Sirius replied, panting as well. “I'll ask.”

“House-elves aren't...talking...to you,” Remus said, pulling even with Sirius. Remus didn't have the breath to point out that this was why Wormtail had to make all the food arrangements for the party.

“I'll manage.” Despite the fact they were running flat out and his was very red faced, his hair looked more like James' at the moment, and his clothes disheveled (only thing keeping his trousers up was his tight grip on them), Sirius still managed to look so confident and stunning that Remus instantly knew that if anyone could charm a house-elf it was him.

They took the next turn too wide and hit the wall. When they took their next turn, Remus realized for the first time where they were going.

He stopped dead. “We can't go back to the party,” he said.

“We can't go back to Gryffindor Tower, either. It'll be the first place Filch goes,” Sirius said. “Come on. It's our only choice.”

Quickly deciding that anything was better than Filch finding them half-naked Remus continued on.

They reached the door and Sirius began furiously knocking. The last charm they put on the room before everyone started arriving was that you couldn't get in using magic, and could only enter the party if someone let you in.

Sirius continued banging on the door. The party must have been too loud for anyone to hear them. 

“Your pants.” Sirius flapped his hand at Remus.

“Your trousers,” Remus said as he dropped his shoe and tried to pull on his pants. His legs were so tired from running and he was so full of adrenaline that it took him a couple times to get one leg through.

Remus had barely managed to get his pants up over his cock when the door swung open.

James, covered in confetti, blinked at them; Remus with his pants suggestively low, and Sirius still fiddling with his belt buckle.

“This is how you celebrate my birthday? By finally shagging each other?” James said, his speech a bit slurred.

“Somebody needed to get laid, and it wasn't going to be you,” Sirius replied.

“Piss off,” James said and then slammed the door in their faces.

Sirius stared at the door and said, “I can't believe we threw a party for that bastard. I'm sending him the bill for all the booze.”

“I've got a better idea,” Remus said, putting his other shoe on. He grabbed Sirius' hand and pulled him down the corridor. “Let's go shag on his bed.”

“Moony, it's reasons like this that you should never doubt how I feel about you. You have all the best ideas.”


End file.
